As a single mom, I am not looking forward to when my sons eventually move from our Oakland County area home and out on their own. Fortunately, my oldest son decided to commute to college, and he is a big help around the house.
Since my children were little, I always told them they could live at home while going to college if they did not go away, and they could continue to live in their childhood home until they either bought their own home or got married.
On the other hand, my youngest wants to move out as soon as he turns eighteen years old. He is still only sixteen, so we’ll see what he does in two years. He has stated that he would like to go into the service but also wants to be a YouTuber. Of course, as his mother, I am hoping he chooses a less life-threatening profession!
According to The Mayo Clinic, “Empty nest syndrome isn’t a clinical diagnosis. Instead, it’s a phenomenon where parents experience feelings of sadness and loss when the last child leaves home.
It’s common for parents to find letting go to be a painful experience — even though they encourage their children to be independent. Parents might find it difficult to suddenly have no children at home who need their care. They might miss being a part of their children’s daily lives and their constant companionship,”.
Here are some tips that can help in the grieving process of change that comes with being an empty nester:
- Acceptance (doesn’t mean you have to like it; just try not to be delusional about the facts)
- Keep in touch (bribe them with food – they’ll always come home for Mama’s cooking!)
- Seek support (counseling, start meeting friends more often, especially those who are also empty nesters, volunteer with children or babies, take on more projects with work, etc.)
- Lean on loved ones for support (spend more time with elderly family members)
- Stay positive (enjoy the financial freedom that comes with not having to support children!)
*Note: All content within this article is meant for informational purposes only and is in no way a replacement for professional medical or psychological advice or support. Seek immediate and appropriate care from a healthcare professional should you or a trusted loved one deem it necessary.
What is the average age of empty nesters?
Since my ex-husband and I waited quite a while to have our children, I imagine we are probably at the older end of the spectrum. For example, I was thirty-two when my oldest was born; he was thirty-five. I was almost thirty-six when my youngest was born; he was forty. By the time my youngest graduates high school, I will be fifty-four years old!
Psych Central reports the following information regarding empty nesters’ average ages, “Parents and caregivers in the United States are usually between 40 and 60 years old when they begin empty nesting. Life events and stages, such as second marriages, late childbearing, or being grandparent caregivers, can affect when the syndrome starts.
Empty nest syndrome age may also be different in cultures and countries with varying child care arrangements,”.
Yep, that puts me right in the middle of the spectrum. However, my friends who had their children earlier have been empty nesters for years already, and some are even grandparents.
Navigating life as an empty nester isn’t just about coping with the emotional changes but also discovering new avenues of personal growth and fulfillment. I am going to try to look at it as an opportunity to rekindle my passions, pursue new hobbies, or even revitalize my career. Engaging in activities that were put on hold during intense parenting years can foster a sense of renewal.
Exploring travel opportunities is another exciting prospect for empty nesters. With fewer responsibilities tethering you at home, why not visit places you’ve always dreamed of, be it locally or internationally? Aside from leisure, many empty nesters take this time to involve themselves in community services or mentoring programs, offering the wisdom gained from years of experience.
Financial planners often recommend reassessing your financial goals; with reduced household expenses, you could focus more on retirement savings, travel funds, or investing in a new business venture. Connection with other empty nesters through social groups or online forums can also provide emotional support and share stories, making the transition less daunting and more enriching.
Empty nester symptoms
Obviously, for me, I will feel a deep sense of grief as I have, in a healthy way, made my job as a mom a top priority. I have found balance over the years with work, being a mom, being a wife (now ex-wife), and being a friend as well as a family member. Let’s hear what the experts have to say.
Parents Magazine suggests that empty nesters may experience some of the symptoms below to include but are not limited to:
- Depression
- Loneliness
- Anxiety
- Sleep disturbances
- Loss of purpose
- Restlessness
- Changes in appetite
- Trouble concentrating
- Guilt or sadness
- Fear of being forgotten
- Questions about preparation and readiness for this new phase of life
Recognizing these feelings is the first step in navigating them successfully. It’s important to remember that this transition is a natural part of life and can lead to new opportunities for personal growth.
Building a support system is crucial; lean on friends and family, who can provide comfort and shared experiences. Lastly, maintaining open communication with your children can ease the fear of being forgotten, reinforcing the loving bonds developed over the years.
What are empty nesters?
In conclusion, ultimately, this phase can be what you want it to be. Hopefully, it will be a vibrant chapter of rediscovery, filled with possibilities that redefine my sense of purpose beyond being their mom. If I can embrace the changes and opportunities that come with this new stage of life, I will be more likely to move through the stages of grief from depression and denial to acceptance and rejuvenation more quickly.