Every family, just like every person, will have different reasons and a variety of factors that will motivate them to do family therapy. For our purposes, here are a few reasons when family therapy services could be a viable option:
- Substance abuse issues
- Domestic abuse situations
- Mental health crisis
- Suicide prevention
- Divorce
- Death
- Loss
- Developmental disabilities
- Behavioral issues
- Illness
- Constant conflict
- Emotional distancing
Should the parties become willing to do what their family therapist suggests, the outlook for becoming a healthier family overall will be positive. Additionally, if the members are engaged and active, therapy could help the family make the necessary changes so that members can support each other, treat each other with respect, stop enabling unhealthy behaviors, and learn to trust one another.
How do you know if your family needs therapy?
When the whole family is willing or at least willing to try, that is the precise moment to strike when the iron is hot, so to speak, and seek family therapy services. The way to know if your family needs therapy is listed above.
Once you have determined the need, if and when a person is open-minded, honest, humble, and willing, the path to growing and changing for the better becomes clear. It’s been said that the key to change is rooted in willingness. Upon a foundation of complete willingness, one can build and repair any relationship, leading to a better life overall.
Willingness is open-mindedness in action. It is the way we feel before we take action based on faith. As we become willing to let go of defects, we can put spiritual integrity ahead of our desire for instant gratification. Thus, willingness is an irreplaceable component for those seeking harmony in their relationships.
Families face many problems, large and small. Typically, problems most folks struggle with include:
- Arguments
(Have you ever been in the middle of an argument and realized you don’t even know what you’re arguing about?)
- Miscommunication/lack of communication
(Narcissists use this as a tactic to confuse and control. They intentionally make others feel like poor communicators and act as if they can’t understand what someone is saying. They make it seem like others use their words incomprehensibly, saying things like, “What are you even talking about?” “I don’t understand what that means.” These statements make others try harder to get their point across, and they get flustered. Meanwhile, the narcissist knows precisely what they are doing.
- Misunderstandings
(Typically, these are easily corrected when participants are willing to pause and ask questions to clarify.)
- Addiction/Alcoholism
(These are diseases of the mind, body, and spirit. Only those willing to admit complete defeat and surrender to recovery will have a half a chance of recreating healthy relationships with family members.
- Financial problems
(Difficulty/lack of managing and budgeting money, lack of work, lack of education, etc., usually results in a massive amount of financial stress on the family)
- Mental illness
(Depression, anxiety, bipolar, etc., impact the overall dynamics of the family)
- Grief
(Coping with the loss of a loved one can be mentally and physically exhausting and requires support and understanding from the whole family. Patience, love, and tolerance go a long way.)
- Illnesses
(For example, I have struggled with chronic pain for the last couple of years and have had to rely on my sons to carry and move heavy objects that I once did on my own. Navigating the challenges and adjustments associated with a family member’s chronic illness can be daunting.
- Divorce
(It is vital to help children/teens adjust to the changes and emotional turmoil caused by their parents’ separation)
- Aging parents
(It is tiresome balancing caregiving responsibilities and decisions for elderly parents)
- Disabled child
(Supporting and advocating for a child with special needs while also addressing the family’s needs is challenging and stressful, especially for the primary caregiver. Furthermore, the other children frequently feel neglected or unimportant because so much time and energy is spent caring for the child with the most needs).
- Moving
(According to the University Hospital System of Northeastern Ohio, moving is one of the top five traumatic events in life. Moving is the third most stressful event after the death of a loved one and divorce)
Sometimes, such issues affect only two family members, while others involve the entire family.
Family therapy might be negated if other family members are active substance abusers, are violent, deny that the client’s substance abuse is problematic, or remain excessively angry. Family therapy is often used to examine factors that maintain a client’s substance abuse behavior.
What are the 5 stages of family therapy?
Once you and your family have decided that therapy is viable and everyone is willing to participate, you are surely on the road to better days. First, there will be some growing pains, some frustrations, and challenges as you navigate through family therapy. Then the healing will begin. Remember, the stages of therapy are essential for bringing about positive change and healing within the family.
- Engagement and rapport-building
- Assessment and understanding
- Restructuring and communication enhancement
- Resolution and healing
- Integration and maintenance
Below is a quick list of advantages and disadvantages of family therapy:
Disadvantages
- Resistant family members
- Lack of privacy
- Power dynamics (imbalances of power or control issues)
Advantages
- Better family dynamics
- Enhanced communication
- Long-term positive change
In a lot of failed marriages, some of the key factors in the breakdown of that marriage included, but were not limited to the following:
- At least one person was unwilling to change
- Could not or would not honestly look at themselves and their part
- Unwilling to do the work suggested in family therapy sessions
For example, suppose both spouses are unwilling to participate. In that case, it does not matter how many hours of therapy they do; the issues will never be resolved, and the relationship will ultimately dissolve.
Another reason family therapy might not be a good fit is because the family therapy lacks the privacy a one-on-one session affords. If members are uncomfortable sharing their thoughts, feelings, and grievances during the sessions in front of the whole family, it may pose barrios to positive, healthy growth.
When should you do family therapy?
In conclusion, family therapy is most effective when everyone is willing to show up, be honest, and try. With openness and commitment, families can strengthen communication, heal old wounds, and build healthier, more supportive relationships moving forward.